Day 34 - Tuesday 31st May - Part Two

Not too much to report from the evening shift. Marie had done the day shift and she caught the consultants visit. She reported that kp may need an operation on her head to clean up the head wound. It does look awful.

Changing Rooms
Karen has changed rooms today. She is now in a larger private room. The other one was a little hard to navigate round. This one is much more roomy. Marie had the unenviable task of doing the move and had to move 60+ "Get Well" cards from the wall in the old room to the new. Shame I missed that job. Marie, you didn't get them as straight as I had them in the old room.
;-)

When I arrived for the evening shift, Marie was like a woman possessed. She had been reborn as a cross between Hitler and Mother Theresa. I have never heard so many orders issued to me in such a short space of time, all in the best interests of kp, so I didn't mind ! :-)

Visitors
My mum and dad visited this evening. Karen was not really in the mood for company today, and it was Mum and Dad that were the unlucky visitors. They thought she looked great compared to a week ago, but I could tell she wasn't her usual chirpy self.

Pain Patch
kp has a patch on that lasts 3 days that gives her a constant supply of pain relief. It is much smaller than a nicotine patch and is transparent. It looks like the kind of thing they stick on Oranges. In fact, I think it may well be. They are probably doing it cheap and just hoping for the placebo effect.

Tired Eyes
Karen was very tired tonight and fell asleep constantly. Some days we can't get her to sleep for hours because we are forever looking for the elusive comfy position. Today, there are a lot more positions that are comfy, and she had no problems sleeping.

When I told her I was going, she said I should stay and talk to her. I told her she was falling asleep all the time. I stayed and talked to her about some topic or other...It went something like this.....

kp:- Can you get me some lipbalm ?
dp gets the lipbalm and puts it on kp's lips.
dp:- Do you know when you were sedated, I would say "purse your lips" and you would !
kp:- Was.......................?

Gone !

Fast Asleep !

Cracking Conversation kp, thanks !!!

G'Night

dp
xxxxx

Day 34 - Tuesday 31st May - Part One

Awful Night
When I arrived at 8am this morning, Karen was fast asleep. This could mean 2 things. She had either had a cracking night sleep or an awful night sleep.

It was the latter. :-(

She had been in agony overnight and in tears. The nurses were great and responded promptly to her buzzes. They discussed pain relief and Morphine was even mentioned as a possibility, but thankfully, they opted for Metadopperlopperforzymylinepopper (or something like that) which she is taking every 4 hours. We will see today if it does the trick. They have arranged a visit from the Pain Relief Nurse Specialist tomorrow to discuss suitable pain relief systems.

Oooooohhhh Matron
About 9am, the Matron and the Stroke Nurse came in to discuss the issues we had had over the weekend. They listened as I went through all the issues and then kp piped up that things were ok now and if things carry on as they were, there was no longer an issue.

Knackered dp
I was knackered for the visit today. Had slept through my 6am alarm. And today Karen asked if she asked me to stay the night would that be ok ? I said I would stay the night if at all possible but that I also need my rest. I explained that I was exhausted and that I need to be strong to be able to look after her on a night and not in my current state. I think she understood.

Physios
The physios came round today and did some exercises on Karen's limbs. She has quite restricted movement of her left arm and hand (stroke side) and her right leg. Karen found the exercises painful, but this pain is necessary to stop the limbs ceasing up.

Some Laughs
Later in the morning, we enjoyed a few good laughs.

I have started recording (on my phone) key events of the day, because I have an awful memory. I speak into the phone and it records what I am saying.

After speaking something into the phone, Karen said :-

kp:- Alan Partridge

I laughed as did kp. (If you don't know Alan Partridge, that won't be funny to you)

Another laugh we had was when the physios were doing their thing. One of the physios was exercising her left arm and holding it skyward in the air.

kp:- "To infinity and beyond"

Lol !

:-)

Finally, I was explaining how bad the traffic was this morning, and how big the queues were. I mentioned that it would have took me a lot longer if I wasn't on the motorbike.

kp:- Did you get your knee down ?

Well, this was so out of the blue, it floored me and I was giggling for ages.

Love you kp. See you in a few hours.

dp
xxxxx

PS - Here is a photo with Karen in her new head attire which aims to keep her bandage on the back of her head in place until they can shave her head later today.


Wee Willy Winky !

Day 33 - Monday 30th May - Part Two

Not much to report from the evening shift.

Lydia visited today (as you can see from her blog entry). She had Karen doing belly laughs (where kp holds her belly to stop it splitting). Karen really enjoys seeing friends from work or home as it really helps to break the monotony of a day in bed. Thanks for coming Lydia.

After Lydia, Yvonne and Dave left for the evening, kp and I had a nice bit of private time. Lots of hugs and kisses. And very little talking, because we have said it all. She did ask me to tell her about the worst bits of her last 33 days, but from previous experience I have learned my lesson, and said you can read it for yourself when you're better. I do hope her eyesight returns.

I had told Karen this morning that when I came back on the evening, I would fit the Continuous Passive Movement (CPM) machine to her legs so that they do physio while we talk. She managed 15 minutes on the right leg, 30 minutes on the left. Thanks to Yvonne and Lydia who helped me get the machine on her legs. Heavy Machine, Heavy Legs and lots of pain if you don't get the legs just right.

When it came to hometime, kp wanted me to stay the night. She said the dogs will be fine. I am quite tired generally at the moment and need good nights sleep and basically said so. I think she understands. She said she did with a bit of a tut at the end.

That reminds me, the last time I stayed the night (until 4am), kp had the worst of nights. She couldn't get comfy. I was kn+ckered. I longed for a bed to put my head down. Well, there was a bed there with kp in it and because she was on her side, there was JUST enough room for me to lie beside her. So, I got on the hospital bed with kp. Actually it worked out well because my front was supporting her back. Unfortunately in order for me not to fall out of this SINGLE hospital bed, I would need to put the sideguards up (on my side). So I did.

Oops !!! The button for lowering the sideguard is quite a stretch and is not really intended to be pushed by the person in the bed. So I was kind of stuck in the bed with Karen. Within minutes she was uncomfy and wanted me out. At the same time, I could hear someone outside heading this way. I felt an imminent bollocking from a nurse. Luckily, I managed to push the button and lower the sideguard and swing my feet out before he came in. So he probably thought I was just sitting on the bed.

I would have slept like a log had kp been comfy.

That's all for now....

Hopefully tomorrow should be an interesting day as kp is getting a newer better bed plus a posh chair that goes from horizontal (like a bed) (so she can get on it) to chair sitting position, the consultants will be doing their rounds, and the physios will be coming round also.

ttfn

dp

Day 33 - Monday 30th May - Part One

The day where the stitches got removed

Last Night
I am pleased to be able to report that Karen had a much better night. She was much more settled generally and the Diazopam must have been the icing on the cake as well. She did, however, ring Marie at 1.30am to say she had had a bad dream about me. But it didn't seem to phase her too much.

When I arrived, she was very excited to tell me something. When you visit Karen, you have to put a gown and gloves on and Karen always knows I drop my bag in the room first before gowning.

kp:- Morning, I have something exciting to tell you
dp:- Fantastic, don't tell me yet, wait until I have my gown on.

Marie and Karen tittered. Karen had bet Marie that I wouldn't want to hear the news until I had gowned and entered properly. It's great to be so predictable !

The news was that kp was having all her stitches and staples out today (apart from the trachy ones).

Stitches Out
I watched intently as the nurse took them out. She has about 12-14 stitches from the top of her chestbone down to and below her belly button and about 40 staples across her waistline.

I got a bit bored watching, so asked if I could do it. To my surprise the nurse said "Yes". Wahey !! Call me Nurse David in future. I only removed about a quarter of Karen's staples but it was great. When I asked if I could put some staples across Karen's lips, she said "no". You can't have everything I suppose ! :-)

Improvement in Care
Today has seen a further increase in the level of Karen's care. Big thanks to Marie for catching the Head Honcho and speaking to him.

General Health
Karen has been in good form today. She is not eating as much as she should still, but I will read Margo's comments out to her, maybe that will do the trick ! :-)

Further update later.....

Day 32 - Sunday 29th May

The day of the complaint
Marie was on early shift today and she took the opportunity to lodge an informal complaint with the Head Nurse on the Ward about the level of Karen's care.

According to Marie, the Head Nurse concerned was very attentive and sincerely wanted to make things better and assured us he would have words with the main individual. Since this, Marie and I both felt that the care for Karen has definately improved. Let's hope it is a sustained improvement.

Visit from ICU Outreach Staff
The Intensive Care Unit have a group of nurses who go out onto the wards to follow the Critical Care Patients for a few weeks after they have been in ICU. They visited Karen today, and it was Karen's opportunity (with Marie assisting) to explain how poor her care had been at Ward 3. At times, she got upset during the conversation. They will take this back to the ICU ward so we may see some results from that.

General Health
kp was still lethargic today and hasn't eaten as well as she could have. When we try and encourage her to eat, she reasserts that she isn't a 5 year old. I won't be pushing on this front again and may need to speak to a doctor/nurse to get them to have a word.

One of Karen's wounds on the bottom of her back is weeping badly. It needed to be redressed twice today. This will not have been helped by the lack of turns she has been given. A new bed is on order for kp which will help alleviate bed sores, by changing pressure points every so often. She had one of these in ICU and it worked very well.

Visitors
Kevin visited today. He is the driver of the car that Karen was in. Karen was very pleased to see Kevin and vice-versa from what Marie told me. He will be off work for a few more months as his collarbone and ribs fix themselves. Kevin has some photos of the cars involved in the crash. Hopefully on his next visit, he will bring these and if I can I will post them on the blogsite.

Jane and Guy (my sister and brother-in-law) visited also. Karen really enjoyed their company and they brought with them a video of their 3 year old daughter (my niece) saying "Hello Karen. Hope you get well soon. I love you." It was a bit prompted but this made it all the more funny and good to watch. We got a few smiles from kp out of that.

Karen then wanted to call her great-niece and nephew, which she promptly did. They were thrilled to hear from her.

Loves from Michelle
Karen was in need of a few hugs today. She didn't particularly get upset but just wanted hugs. Karen doesn't do hugs as a rule, and she is very choosy who she hugs, and Michelle was the chosen one today.

Not really much else to say today. The big fear for Karen and myself was that she would have another night like last night. To preempt this, Karen was put on a stronger sleeping tablet (Diazopam). I reassured her that this should do the trick and there was no need to be frightened etc....I stayed until she fell asleep and for a bit after. She was very asleep when I left, so, fingers crossed, she will get a really good night's sleep.

Request for Visitors
Today was a good day overall and one of the reasons for this was a different set of visitors. So, if you would like to visit Karen, please contact Marie on 01642-284812 or 07961-346149 to arrange a time. We would love to see you. If Marie doesn't answer, leave a message saying who you are, what time etc....

Boggett
Whilst I was trying to get Karen off to sleep tonight, she asked me to talk to her about nice things. I did the dogs, the garden, holidays. She started to get very sleepy and became quieter in voice and asked for me to tell her some more nice things. So I came up with some more. She became even more asleep. One of the last things she asked for was

kp:- Tell me some things about the Boggett.

She meant the blog !

Soon after, she was VERY asleep and didn't stir whilst I made a racket arranging her buzzer, water etc...

Sleep well my love

dp
xxxxx

Day 31 - Saturday 28th May - Addendum

Today has been an exhausting day for me personally. The back of my throat is really sore and swollen. A 6am awakening from the dogs this morning after a bad night's sleep wasn't the best start to the day. Couple that with our oven has packed in so hot food is a bit tricky. Sod's law that it will pack in on the first day of a Bank Holiday Weekend when you can't get anyone out for love nor money. I also decided to cut the grass (1.5 hours) as it was the first sunny day for weeks, but did so on an empty stomach. So, come 11pm tonight after leaving kp asleep, I was ready to hit the sack and knew I would go out like a light. I was in bed and had just switched the TV off, when....................



Phonecall from kp at 11pm.

kp:- "David, I need you to come in."
dp:- "What's wrong love ?"
kp:- "I just need you to come in"
dp:- "Is there someone there ?"
kp:- "Yes"

Of course there was someone there. She can't use the phone without help.

dp:- "I'll be there in about 30 minutes."

Something was up, I wasn't sure what.

When I arrived, kp explained that she couldn't get comfy at all, the buzzer had broken so she couldn't call for help, and when she called by shouting, noone came. She was really fed up.

I was sceptical about the buzzer being broken, so I spoke to a nurse who confirmed it was and that an engineer was coming out. I even tested it myself. It was well and truly broke. An engineer did indeed come out and replaced it.

Karen was absolutely exhausted and dying to sleep. But she really couldn't get comfy. The next 4 hours consisted of the following routine repeated every 5-10 minutes.

The routine
kp:- "David, I need moving"
dp:- "Which side love ?"
kp:- "I don't KNOW"

1. Blanket Off
2. Sheets Off
3. Remove Back Support Blanket
4. Remove Leg Pillow (used for cushioning)
5. Lay Bed Flat
6. Check catheter tube won't be blocked by intended move.
7. Move kp to correct pre-move place on bed (hard work on own) (if she is being moved onto left side, she needs to be as far right on the bed as possible)
8. Roll up Blanket ready to prop kp up
9. Position in safe reachable place so it doesn't fall off during move.
10. Put Karen's left arm (dead one) on her stomach and ask her to hold it
11. Place Pillow between legs at correct angle so it supports kp's top leg after the move.
12. Do the move itself, which involves supporting kp's whole back and bum with 2 arms.
13. dp:- "3-2-1"
14. The Move
15. kp:- "Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow""
16. Position Back Support Blanket in back so she doesn't roll flat on back.
17. Position Legs in cocked position so they are comfy.
18. Replace Sheets
19. Replace Top Blanket
20. "Is that ok ?"
21. "Yes"

At this point, I would go back to trying to get some sleep, which isn't easy with 2 chairs, very little space and to compound this routine, it was barrier care still, so I was wearing a plastic pinny and latex gloves which make your hands sweat like hell. Well, they didn't last long. After about 10 of these routines, I was telling MRSA to "Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough". (No gloves, no pinny).

I dozed a couple of times, but it wasn't sleep.

If I was getting frustrated, kp must have been going bonkers, yet she remained calm throughout. She didn't raise her voice once. I better repeat that. She didn't raise her voice once.

There was just no getting kp comfy. kp said I should get the nurses to try. So, 3 female nurses came in and did the routine. 5 minutes later, I was sent for a specific named nurse who had the knack of getting her comfy. He tried. 5 minutes later, I was instructed to recall the named nurse and tell him "one last try", kp had an idea.

No Joy !

So, it was back to me to keep trying. I was so so tired. The turning routine which probably takes about 2-3 mins if you're on form was starting to take longer and longer. I couldn't remember what to do next. I would stand by the bed and look at what I had done and try and recall what the next step was. The longer it takes the more uncomfortable it is for Karen. But again she didn't complain. We did get lots of "Ow"s. But never did she raise her voice. When I was getting to my most frustrated later on, I wanted to say "Look, you can't get comfortable, go to sleep uncomfortable", but instead I said "I love you" and gave her a kiss. I think kp secretly thinks I was saying the former at times as she thanked me a few times on the night for being there.

By about 3am, it was clear that moves weren't working. kp was sick of being moved and uncomfortable and just wanted a sleeping tablet to put her out of it. I spoke to the nurse who said the only thing that would knock her out was "Tramazopal" (something like that), but that if she took it at this time, she would be asleep all day. kp said she still wanted it, so he checked with the Doctor, who reitereated what the nurse said. A few more turns, and 20 minutes later kp was "in agony".

kp:- "I want some painkillers"

I got some painkillers from the nurse and 2 moves later at 4am, kp was sleeping like a baby. GOAL !!!!

I rang Marie and asked her to come in for 8am (I was on that shift) went home, hit the sack, and slept.

Hope she is feeling more settled today.

Day 31 - Saturday 28th May

The day we realised kp is not getting the right treatment
All credit to Marie who has been meticulously writing down events that have led us to the conclusion that Karen is not being well looked after at Ward 3.

I have already written about Mrs 26 Beds. Some of the things that Ward 3 have not been doing for Karen are as follows :-

• Moving her on 2 hourly intervals as instructed by the consultant.
• Cleaning up promptly after Karen has had a bowel movement.
• Responding to Karen's cries for attention
• Emptying kp's urine collection unit which overflows. (This has happened twice)
• Responding in a timely fashion to requests for help (from relatives). 40 minutes on one occasion.
• Providing a chair bed so we can get Karen sitting up (to help lungs and sores)
• Following barrier care procedures (Mrs 26 beds)
  

There are others but you get the idea.

The crunch of it (for me) was when she told Marie today "I am a burden to the staff here". Everything became clear. She is spot on. A patient should NOT feel they are a burden. That ISN'T going to aid recovery !!

We are trying to fix the issue by stepping in ourselves to help, which is the right thing to do in the short term, but we need her to receive adequate care from the staff, which she is not receiving.

I am not picking on the staff personally here. The staff care when she gets it is great, but there isn't enough of it. The exception to this is Mrs 26 beds who needs some lessons in "Customer Care". There is a right and a wrong way to tell someone that you will be there shortly. You don't tell them how insignificant they are. Karen is NOT insignificant.

Weeping Wounds
Marie spotted that one of Karen's wounds on her rear was weeping quite significantly. She called someone to have a look at it. They were shocked at what they saw and had to go and get someone else to look. That person was also shocked by what they saw and had never seen anything like it before. More confirmation that she is in the wrong place.

Visitors
Today was the first day Karen had had different visitors. It was great to see her interacting with normal people ;-) Today, her first visitor was Deborah (from work). Lots of smiles from kp. Deborah was great for kp as she could catch up on work gossip. She also really knows her nursing stuff. I learned quite a lot on how to move kp around and make things easier when turning her etc... Thanks Debs.

Then it was Karen's relatives, Lillian and Bernard who again lit the smile touchpaper.

Whilst Lilly and Bernard were there, we then had more problems finding available nurses for things that needed doing.

kp eating too little
Karen is not really eating enough in the families opinion. She can manage 1/4 or 1/2 platefuls at best. Today we may have seen the results of this. She was knackered pretty much all day.
We have tried to encourage kp to eat more, but you can't force the food down. We will address this tomorrow.

Other than that, it's been a quieter day. Thanks for all the texts and blog comments. They never fail to bring a smile to kp, whose first or second question in the mornings is, are there any blog comments ?

:-)

dp

Day 30 - Friday 27th May - Part Two

Went back to the hospital at 6.30pm to relieve Marie who had given kp a good wash and scrubdown.

A consultant had been in and told kp that it may take as long as Xmas to get kp walking properly again. I don't think Karen was overly concerned at that, her main objective at the moment is to get out of this "godforsaken hellhole" (her words)

They have given her anti-depressants, which is definately a good move.

He is also arranging for a visit from an eye specialist who will try and assess why her right eyes isn't working properly. Some suggestions he came up with are :-

• Eyes get lazy when people are sedated for long periods. Fixes itself
• Detached Retina. May be fixable
• Stroke related. Could fix itself.

Practical Measures
Today, we started to think of practical measures like money. Tony (Jane's husband) is very kindly going to look into the compensation side of things. For now, we are ok, but in a few months, things will be tricky. Generally, I am a very material person, but I have learned a big lesson from this accident, and that is, the material things count for nothing. The ones you love come top of the list. I don't really care if we have to liquidise assets to keep things going. The only thing that matters to me is Karen.

Getting Comfy
Karen has GREAT difficulty in getting into a comfy position. 8 out of 10 minutes are spent readjusting various limbs to try and get Karen comfortable. We are now dab hands at moving kp's body parts without causing pain, but the trickier bit is finding the elusive comfy position. If you ask Karen, how do you want to be (position wise), her reply is ALWAYS "I don't know !!!!" (various volume levels dependant on how many times you have asked the question).

dp:- Do you want to be on your left side or your right side ?
kp:- I don't know.

dp:- Let's do the left side
kp:- Fine !

dp:- Do you want your leg further up.
kp:- I DON'T KNOW !

You get the idea.

So as carers, we have to know what she doesn't know herself. It's like a puzzle with the answer sheet missing. So you try various combinations until you hear :-

kp:- I think that's ok.

2 minutes later, she will be uncomfortable.

And the cycle continues......

Tonight Marie and I were sniggering to each other. After being particularly demanding, Karen came out with :-

kp:- "You're lucky I am so patient"

Marie left the room where she could develop the snigger into something a bit more laughlike.

We take it on the chin. It's not so bad when there's 2 of you. It doesn't feel as personal.

Mrs 26 beds
Last night, a nurse was very keen to point out how many beds were on the ward and she would get to us in turn. I had asked for Karen to be made comfy I expect. Now fair play to the nurses on the ward, there are only 2 on for 26 patients.

But tonight Mrs 26 beds was at it again. I asked the simple question :-

kp:- "Could you give us some idea what time the tablets were likely to come round, so Karen could know when she could go to sleep ?"
Unnamed Nurse :- "We have 26 beds and only 1 nurse who can give the tablets out"

Well, I had to bite my tongue. If she does it again, I am going to ask for a recount.

New Bed
Karen is on a better bed tonight. It's a gel-based one that is better for her bruising and wounds.

Can you just....?
We were warned that kp would use emotional blackmail to get family members to do various things for her. Yvonne had a great approach today and she got away with it. She stood no nonsense and kp responded to it. But at the same time, kp needs to be able to vent her frustrations and I think it is going to be Marie and I who cop it.

Tonight I got a very small dose.

It was hometime for me (10.20pm). kp had been given her sleeping tablets. She was talking rubbish (a sure sign that she is knackered). When I told her I was leaving and would be back at 8am, she said "Can you just reposition my legs ?", "Can you just fill my water up ?", "Can you watch Big Brother with me ?", "Can you......."

I was firm, stood my ground and told her I needed to go home for the dogs and that I would be back first thing in the morning. I know for a fact that as long as I am there, she won't go to sleep if she can help it. With no visitors, she will.

I left her calm, serene, tired and probably snoring by now !

Have a good sleep kp. See you soon...

dp
xxxxx

Day 30 - Friday 27th May - Part One

The day after the awful day

Well, its 4pm and I have come home to sort the dogs out. Marie is staying on until I go back about 6pm.

I was hoping today couldn't be any worse than yesterday and my hopes were realised. kp was feeling more positive today.

Last Night carried on being a negative experience for kp. She needed attending to in the night and couldn't find the buzzer. She said she had been calling out for help but noone had been forthcoming.

:-(

Last Night, Marie asked Yvonne if she could get in for 8am, which she did. It sounds like Yvonne had been quite firm with Karen and not given in to the emotional blackmail that other family members (myself primarily) are so prone to. Karen responded well to this approach. I may take a bottle of brandy in and try to be firm myself :-)

I had told her that we were going to have a family conference and as soon as we were all present, kp pressed the issue and got the conference underway. Present were the 5 sisters (Karen, Marie, Michelle, Yvonne and Jane (the new adopted sister)). We now have a plan of attack which kp is happy with.

Cover is as follows
8am - 11am. Jane.
11am - 1pm - dp
1pm - 6pm - Marie
6pm - 8pm Yvonne
7pm - eyes shut - dp

This should also be good for us, so we don't get too exhausted for what will undoubtedly be a long haul.

Big thanks to all the sisters who have offered help. And to the "Pretend Friends" !! :-)

The Video
Karen's work colleagues had put together a sketch to cheer her up. I put it on my laptop so I could show it to her on a bigger screen than the camcorder. Marie brought in a big flat magnifying glass and we all gathered round the laptop. kp was very eager to see it and thoroughly enjoyed it - big smiles appeared on her face. I don't think she could see the detail of it, but she knew the voices and spotted the odd person when her eyes focussed correctly. I feel sure it will get quite a few replays and will provide many more laughs. Thanks VERY much to kp's team for this. Little advice for all of you involved. DO NOT QUIT the National Blood Service. You will not be getting acting careers ! If it had been professional actors it wouldn't have been half as much fun ! Hope noone is offended by that. I'll find out next time I give blood :-)

MRSA
Karen has MRSA again in her head wound. Her head wound incidentally is pretty horrific. I have seen it undressed and you get the impression if you put your finger in it, you could touch the brain. I have resisted the temptation so far.

So it was barrier nursing today. Gowns and Gloves.

Abbie's Visit
Abbie, (Karen's niece's daughter), visited today. She enjoyed dressing up as a doctor (she is 8) and sneaking up on Karen. Karen was very pleased to see her. I think Abbie may have been a bit surprised at seeing Karen in a hospital bed not looking her usual million dollars. But she braved it well.


So, all in all, a lot more of a positive day. I am feeling a lot better because Karen is. I just hope she gets a good night's sleep tonight, but I will do another shorted blog entry before bed to report on her evening.


Visiting
If you would like to visit Karen, then we would welcome the visitors and it would keep Karen mentally stimulated. Visiting Hours are 11am - 1pm, 4pm - 8pm. We'll break the visiting into 1 hour slots, so if you would like to visit, please ring Marie on either 01642-284812 or 07961-346149. You may have to leave a message as Marie is at the hospital a lot and won't be able to ring back until she is out of the hospital. Please leave your name, phone number and preferred date/time for visiting. Marie will get back to you to confirm its ok.

Thanks !!

Until later...

dp

Day 29 - Thursday 26th May

The Day with the Awful Ending

I was gonna call today "The Day of Extremes", and although that name still applies, recent events require a new name.

Great Start to the day. I entered the ward to see Karen smiling sat upright in a chair. Wahey ! Within 10 minutes, Karen wanted OUT of the chair. She was very uncomfortable. I suppose it must be very strange to be sat in a chair after a month lying on a bed. The nurses wanted to keep her in for a number of good reasons (lungs, strengthening muscles etc...) but kp was not having any of it and made herself very clear.

kp:- I WANT to get back into bed.
nurse:- Fine. Bed it is.

kp got her own way and the nurses set about the big task of moving her from a chair to the bed (takes 3 nurses).

kp is starting to get concerned about her eyesight. When we pass her something to look at, she puts it right upto her right eye, so close it is almost touching. It's disconcerting and saddening. One of the nurses did some tests to confirm the extent of the problem, but we won't hear any more on this until the Stroke specialists have done a more in-depth study. Apparently, it is not unusual for this to occur and then patients get back full vision in the course of time.

After a snooze on the bed, kp wanted to go back in the chair so we could take her for a coffee outside. The nurses did their thing to get kp in the chair, but unfortunately there weren't enough nurses free to take Karen for the coffee, so she had to wait in the chair for quite a while. She started getting frustrated. Tut here, Tut tut there, here a tut, there a tut, everywhere a tut tut.

The ICU ward was completely bare of any patients apart from Karen, so we put the ghetto blaster on with disco fever playing. kp started dancing (with her right hand), and asked me to dance. kp knows only too well that I am no John Travolta. But, for the sake of amusing the Queen, I strutted my funky stuff. kp had a good belly laugh, and then asked for a repeat performance when Jane returned from a breath of fresh air, so she could enjoy the pleasures of dance (dp style). What fun we had ;-|

After "Come Dancing", kp ordered me to Ward 3 to check out her new quarters. I was able to return with a positive report, namely kp had her own private room and that she was moving today :-) or should that be :-(

Just before we went for a coffee, one of the consultants and another member of staff asked to seem me privately.

Consultant :- It's nothing negative Karen, I am sure David will tell you what its about.

?!?!?!?!

We ended up discussing it in front of karen. It was to do with this blog. It had come to their attention and although they appreciated the good light it showed their department in, they requested that we not mention nurses by name, and not include photos without express permission of the nurses. They were exceedingly nice about it - A totally legitimate request after all. So, sorry to any nurse that didn't want their photo on the blog. I have removed all offending photos. Let me know if I have missed any. I have also tried to go through the blog and remove name references, but there is a chance I have missed 1 or 2, so please contact me if I have missed one out. I won't be at all offended and it will be removed.

By the time this chat was over, it was tea/coffee time with kp outside. Yay !! This time, because she was in the chair, we could get her into a courtyard area outside one of the cafes.



kp was in top form and enjoyed her cup of tea.

No sooner were we back at the ICU ward than it was time for kp to move to her new Ward.

We gave the ward a card of thanks and some choccies.

Karen signed the card.



On arrival, Judith (one of her work colleagues was visiting) and had dropped off a film kp's colleagues had done for her. I had a quick preview tonight and it looks very funny. I will put it on the laptop so kp can see it on a bigger screen. Thanks Judith.

We moved her down, got her settled, sorted visiting hours out but within a short period of time, it became very obvious how much difference one-to-one nursing (ICU) is to one nurse to 12 patients nursing.

When we needed some nurses to move kp to a comfortable position, it was hard to muster support. She hasn't had her usual bedbath before she goes to sleep and it is a very big culture shock for Karen. For all of us in fact. Karen hasn't got the strength to move herself. She can't cut her food up (only 1 arm working). She needs assistance for frankly everything. And the poor nurses there have another 11 patients to deal with each. The next few days are going to be very interesting indeed and this was highlighted tonight.

When we left Karen, she had been moved into a comfy position and had fallen asleep. Within an hour of going home, she was on the phone to Marie and myself in tears. She couldn't work the phone, the tv and she desperately wanted me to go to the hospital to help her.

Of course, I went straight away and I was faced with the saddest of pictures when I entered her room. I am in tears now recalling it. She wasn't crying. She wasn't upset. She was watching TV intently. I watched for a few seconds before entering. I said "hiya love, what you watching". She said "not sure". So I looked and she was watching a static picture on the tv saying "Do not use your mobile phones in the hospital". No sound, no movement. So very sad.

I just hugged her. She was an empty shell.

We got to talking and she said she had to get out of there. I explained as best I could that until her pelvis is healed she needed to be in the hospital.

kp: You need to think "Out of the box". Phone your dad. He's good at thinking out of the box. But I can't stay here.

In the background was the wailing of an old woman crying for help. The stroke ward is mostly full of the older generation.

I was holding back the tears desperately. If I could take Karen home, I could look after her. No, I couldn't, I need an X-ray machine, drugs etc etc...I also need another person to help me move her. My thoughts were racing.

I couldn't think of a solution. She was due her sleeping tablets but kp spotted they were going to give her the wrong ones (they hadn't worked for kp a couple of nights before). I had to ring ICU to find out the right ones.

This was awful. AWFUL !

Poor Karen was in tears. I was so close, and trying to retain some calmness. Karen was saying some pretty negative things (I am not going to elaborate more than that). I was very concerned.
She was uncomfortable and wanted making comfy. I couldn't find anyone to help in the first 5 minutes. I buzzed the buzzer and a nurse came and told us that we were just one of 25 patients that needed attention and that they would get to us eventually.

I tried in vain, on my own to get kp comfy. She doesn't know what makes her comfy, so she can't instruct. She can only say when she is comfy. I couldn't find the position. She was sure she wanted to be on her right hand side.

Within 15 minutes (but it felt a lot longer), 2 lovely nurses came in and sorted her out. I had the position perfect but they had her on her opposite side. I'll know for next time. Within 1 minute of her getting comfy (no exaggeration) the sleeping tablets had kicked in and she was out for the count. I tried to tell her "Good Night", but there was no rousing her.

She is going to wake up in the night and be frightened unable to call anyone because she won't be able to find the buzzer I positioned right by her. She can't use the phone because she can't see the numbers to dial and struggles to get it off the receiver.

I feel awful, so sad, and within 1 metre of the ward door I was in tears. By the time I got to the car, I must have looked like a beetroot.

I am knackered ! I have eaten anything today apart from a pasty (thanks Marie).

I have called a family conference for tomorrow. The only way forward I can see is for the family to pull together to cover Karen's waking moments with company and to be her oddjob person.

I phoned Jane and Marie on the way home and both were very supportive and came up with some good arguments for kp's behaviour.

Let's see what tomorrow brings................

I suppose it can't be any worse. Or am I being naive ?

dp

I will post information about visiting kp tomorrow night after the family conference.
I know some of you asked about sending flowers but the ICU ward couldn't have flowers in for infection reasons. Flowers are now ok and may boost kp's morale. The address is

Karen Pollard
c/o Ward 3,
Queen Elizabeth Hospital
Queen Elizabeth Avenue
Sheriff Hill
Gateshead
NE9 6SX

Day 29 - Thursday 26th May - Preface

This blog will not appear until late tonight or early a.m. as kp wants me back at the hospital to show her how to work the TV/Phone in her new private room on Ward 3.

Day 28 - Wednesday 25th May - Part Two

Just had a heart breaking call from kp.

She is in a lot of discomfort and is totally fed up and "wants it all to end".

She can't get to sleep, she can't get comfy and she wants me to sort it all out. I spoke to the nurse and one of the doctors to see if anything else can be done to ease her discomfort.

But she has had the maximum pain relief, the maximum sleeping tablet dosage, they have moved her on every side they can move her and she is still uncomfortable and fed up.

I feel so sorry for her.

One of the doctors assured me that within 90mins the latest tablets should kick in and she should be ok. I reassured her that this was the case, and I think she believed me.

The only other option is sedation, and the more severe pain relief, but this would only slow down her recovery. Battling on is the only real solution.

They are wonderful at ICU and I have no doubt they are doing all they can. I left the phonecall feeling that kp was reassured that it would be ok within an hour or so.

:-|

Battle on love. You're doing so well.

c u 2morrow

dp
xxxxx

Day 28 - Wednesday 25th May - Part One

The day with the Disco Dancing

When I arrived at the hospital today, Karen was extremely perky and very awake. She greeted me in true kp fashion.

kp:- "Good Morning. I have been disco dancing."

The cd was playing by kp's bedside and it was playing disco songs from the '70s.

kp:- "We have been dancing".

Apparently, the nurses had been making kp laugh by dancing to the 70's music. kp had been doing the movements with her right hand and moving both her feet in time to the music.

She had a new trick up her sleeve that she was very keen to share with me.

kp (to the physio) :- "Tell David what I can do"
Physio :- "Karen can lift her left leg up."

Sure enough with the physio guiding kp's left leg (stroke side), she was making all the effort and the leg was rising under kp's control.

It was amazing to see a previously dead weight of a leg once again under kp's control albeit with very limited movement.

Karen has a very bad wound on the back of her head and a couple of scars on the sides. But the wound of the back of the head has required that the nurses cut away a lot of Karen's hair at the back so that the dressing can protect the wound without coming loose. One of the nurses who Karen refers to as the gaffer, has arranged for kp to have a haircut tomorrow by one of the auxiliaries who is also a qualified hairdresser. kp is REALLY looking forward to that.

The Knickers Fiasco !

Karen had asked me to bring in some of her cotton knickers. Well, I thought all knickers were cotton so picked up a couple of pairs and brought them in. They weren't cotton, they were probably wool or something ! But the Queen wasn't happy. So Marie said she would buy her some new all-cotton knickers. So in comes Marie this morning with a 6-pack of knickers. They were all cotton all right !!!! They were also all thong !!! Marie, in her keenness to ensure all cotton had mistakenly got thongs. Not really hospital wear !

kp was amused !! Maybe we'll crack the knickers situation tomorrow.

As per usual, I read out everyone's comments from the blog and kp is very grateful for all the comments and texts she receives and specifically asked me to thank everyone. She was particularly amused by Mark's comments equating Karen's hard resolve to the hardness of the veggy sausages she cooked for him. If Karen's resolve is half as hard as those sausages, she will be out of hospital next week ! :-)

The move to Ward 3 may happen tomorrow (thursday) – slim chance but possible. Karen is not looking forward to this and is quite anxious about being moved, what with all the new faces and the reduced level of nursing (1 nurse to 12 patients instead of 1 to 1 in ICU).

Marie and Michelle visited this afternoon and all 3 sisters enjoyed a boogie to 70's music. I managed to get a bit of phone video footage of kp’s boogie action. And yes, that is Karen singing in the background. I used the word “singing” very loosely.

Try this 1st
Try this 2nd
Try this 3rd
Try this 4th
Thanks to Nigel for hosting this segment of video. One of these links should work on your machine. Try from the top down. They are all the same video clip.

kp really enjoyed the light relief.

She then asked for "Over the Rainbow" to be played (the Eva Cassidy version). I had a copy on my phone and played it to her, and within 30 seconds, she was in tears. It’s a beautiful rendition of Over the Rainbow and kp knows I want it played at my funeral. Once kp started, the tears spread, Marie, then Michelle, and I was on tissue duty.

That reminds me that I had kp crying again earlier before Michelle and Marie arrived. I asked kp if she wanted me to read out the blog entry from yesterday (the blog itself). I have done this before and kp cried and I am annoyed that I did it again even though kp said to read it out. We got half way and then it was time for tears and hugs. I will not do it again until she is well down the rehab road.

I do really enjoy some private time with kp. And the close family that can visit at the moment are very understanding of this. Thanks.

We even had some tears from one of the lovely nurses (Dawn) who started crying when she was reading the blog on the computer on the ward. She kindly said that the blog had given her a better understanding of the patient’s and relative’s view of ICU.

I rang kp a few minutes ago to wish her “Good Night”. She was upset because today is Lee’s birthday. Lee was kp’s nephew and he died of leukaemia a couple of year’s ago (aged 18). Kp ALWAYS visits lee’s gravestone to lay some flowers, but today she couldn’t. I know Marie (Lee’s mam) understands, but kp was understandably upset that Lee wasn’t here and that she couldn’t do her bit.

Let’s end on some highs.

Kp did some more “hold the belly” laughing today. We have some good friends who have a daughter called Megan who is very bright for her age. She is about 2 or 3 (sorry Mark/Tracy). But Mark and Tracy do this little game with her where they say a word such as “Fandooblydom”, and ask Megan what it means. Megan replies “It doesn’t mean anything”, but she says it in such a lovely way that kp and I have always found it very funny.

Well, something came up today (forgot what), and the phrase “it doesn’t mean anything” was a pertinent answer which kp gave in the style of Megan. We laughed, kp laughed holding her stomach.

Another good bit of news…..

The consultant Catherine instructed the nurses to switch off all Karen’s monitors, as it was felt she didn’t need to be monitored any more. Yipppeeee ! Vicky made a bit of a ceremony of it, but unfortunately only I could see the symbolism as they are behind kp. But thanks Vicky. It is another step in the right direction.

Karen’s eyesight has deteriorated quite a bit as I mentioned earlier, but she has made up for it tenfold in the hearing department. So, a warning to visitors. If you whisper, it will be heard. Kp can hear a pin drop in the next ward.

Marie has agreed to coordinate visiting. And I know Karen is keen to see as many people who can visit as possible. So, we are going to divide up visiting times into hour slots in the next few days, and people can ring Marie (phone number to be provided over the next day or so) to arrange a time to visit so she is not overtaxed by 10 people by her bed. We will post more details when we know she is on the Stroke Ward (Ward 3).

Thanks again for reading and the messages of support. They really do touch Karen. I don’t know if I have said this before, but she really doesn’t understand why so many people have supported her with texts and blog comments.

She’s a star.

dp

Day 27 - Tuesday 24th May (Addendum)

When I posted Tuesday's blog, I omitted a couple of important things, so I am adding this mini-blog and have amended Tuesday's blog very slightly. There are 2 blog entries for Tuesday, this one should be read AFTER the first Tuesday entry.

The amendment was the visiting hours. Although they are 11am-1pm, 4pm-9pm. I have changed that to read the afternoon visiting finishes at 8pm to allow kp + close family some private time.

Couple of omissions of note. I'll do the negatives first so I can end on a positive.

Karen's eyesight is worse than I first realised (because of the stroke). This became clear today when I showed her a photo of herself on the camera. She put the camera all the way upto her right eye. She did this with the Acorn Antiques program also. It was a little upsetting to see. It is her LEFT side that is affected by the stroke, but her right eye can't see at all. Apparently, (I checked this with a nurse), this is not unusual as there is some crossover in the optic nerves. I confirmed this by blocking each of Karen's eyes and asking what she could see. She could see nothing when her left eye was blocked.

On the positive side, she CAN still make out things at a distance and closeup (presumably with her good eye). I can stand in the hallway (quite a distance from her bed) and wave when I arrive and she sees me fine and knows its me.

Another bit of a negative is that Karen struggles to remember the nurses names. This in itself is not unusual as there are so many on ICU, but what is a bit more disconcerting is the names she remembers them by. Karen loves having her hair done by a certain nurse, but Karen remembers her as "Split" or "Planet" and she really thinks this is her name. (No doubt these names will soon catch on with the rich and famous, I can see "Split Beckham" and "Planet Cruise" for their next offspring).

One of her nurses for the day had been Wendy, Andrea + another name I have forgot. So, the nurse has been calling kp "Tinkerbell" until she gets it right. She is still "Tinkerbell" :-)

Finally, a lovely positive to end on.

If you have read the blog in the right order, you will know about the Acorn Antiques aspects of the day.

I showed Karen one part of the program that really made me laugh and I knew would get her going. Now its only funny if you know the character Mrs Overall played by Julie Walters. It is a page that is selling the old Acorn Antiques clips on DVD.



Well, I showed this to Karen and I read out the line above (in a poor Mrs O. impersonation), but kp produced the biggest of grins and grabbed her stomach for a little belly laugh.

:-)

Day 27 - Tuesday 24th May

The Day with the "Acorn Antiques" Program

Today started with tears. Not from kp, but me. When kp had the accident, we had lined up a number of events for the year. kp was going to see "Fame" & "Love Shack" at the Sunderland Empire, "Billy Elliott", "Mary Poppins" and the show we were both REALLY looking forward to "Acorn Antiques" (in London). The London shows were Karen's birthday present to me, although I was only too well aware that Karen was REALLY looking forward to Acorn Antiques as she loves both Victoria Wood AND Julie Walters. Acorn Antiques is only running for 6 months and we had tickets to the last day (matinee performance).

Obviously the accident prevented from Karen from seeing all of the above. So...after we had got over the first 10 days and kp had pulled through, I started to do something about the tickets. We gave the local tickets "Fame" and "Love Shack" to the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital in thanks for the truly incredible care they have given Karen. Karen can be demanding when she is well, and they have put up with her when she is unwell. They are awesome. (I kept warning Karen that if she didn't behave they will sedate her until she is off the ward !)

I put the other tickets up on Ebay for sale. The Acorn Antiques landed in the hands of a gentleman called David Lodge who had bought them for his mother (who is caring for her husband who has lung cancer). Karen lost her mother to Lung Cancer, so she was thrilled that the tickets ended up in the hands of people who deserved it, and who would also really appreciate the show.

David said he would give us a show report and sure enough it came through the post today. He had sent the Acorn Antiques programme for Karen and the loveliest of letters. His letter really touched me. He described in detail key moments of the performance, but what really got to me was the email he had sent to the theatre (a copy of which he included with the letter) :-

David's Email :-
"Dear Sirs I am writing for two reasons

First of all I would like to thank you for the advice I was given in looking at Ebay for tickets I will be coming to the show for the Saturday matinee and cant wait! ! !

Far more importantly I hope that you can help me with something???

I bought the tickets (Stalls 03&4) trom a guy called David Pollard who had ordered them as a birthday present for his wife Karen. Tragically on April 27th, Karen was involved in a serious car accident and nearly died. She has been in Hospital ever since.

David has posted on the web a diary over the last few weeks that makes for heart breaking reading KPSCONDITION.BLOGSPOT.COM. I have never met these people and dont know why I am doing this but feel compelled to act! Do please check out the website!!! I will forward the email I have received from David (as a thank you for the tickets) to show I am not some nutter.

Could you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pass this email and information onto Julie WaIters and Victoria Wood because Karen is a huge fan and was so looking forward to seeing the show but will now never get to see it. If that is not possible could you please
get a program signed or some Acorn Antiques memorabilia that I can send to Sunderland General Hospital for Karen to know that if she was not at the theatre in person she will be there in spirit with me.

I can assure you that I have never done anything like this in my entire life and the chances of me getting to hear this story was very remote but it is for some reason that I do not understand - it feels like Gods Will that I should do something about it to make Karen smile!

Your help in this matter I am sure will be greatly appreciated by Karen Pollard and all her family who must be going thru hell. For me I want nothing other than to know that for once I actually did something for no real reason other than caring!!! !

Kindest Regards

DAVID LODGE"

David doesn't know us. Yet he went out of his way to do something for Karen. David, I am exceedingly grateful. He also added that he knows someone who knows Victoria Wood well and that if the theatre couldn't help he would try the other route. No worries if nothing comes of the second route David, we are touched by your sentiments beyond words.

Well, reading his letter and email reduced me to tears. Karen's strength and determination have touched so many people. I take great solace from this. More about this later.

Back to Karen

Karen had real problems sleeping last night. They gave her a sleeping tablet which helped a bit. When I went in at 12pm she had eaten a quarter of her meal (roast chicken, stuffing, the works). The nurses were pleased.

She also looked different. She had had her nose tube removed as it was felt she was eating well enough that she didn't need to be fed through her nose. Her bowel management system had also been removed and she had undergone 2 hours of physio. On the first day, she could only manage 10 minutes.

We found out today that one of the fantastic consultants on the Intensive Care Unit had asked that she be moved to the Stroke Rehab ward instead of the Orthopedic Ward. It was felt that she would gain more from her being where she would be taxed (from a stroke perspective) with the orthopedic people visiting, than being on the orthopedic ward being visited by the stroke people. This seems right to me.

The move would have happened today had they had a bed spare on the stroke ward. Alas they didn't. Actually I take that back. The fact she is well enough to move to a normal ward is good enough for us. She couldn't get better care than where she is at the moment (one nurse to one patient, and fantastic nurses at that).

Maybe tomorrow for Ward 3.

Knowing that kp was moving off ICU, I asked to see one of the consultants for an update on kp's condition. She was VERY pleased with Karen's progress and she said the one thing we wanted to hear. Karen is no longer critical and she "would be VERY surprised if Karen DIDN'T pull through this". For the first time, we have officially heard that the odds are in kp's favour. I would go further than that and say Karen's life is no longer in danger and that she now has to concentrate in probably the hardest battle of all - rehabilitation.

This is a big weight off the family's minds. We have kind of felt this anyway for the last few days, but to hear it officially from the same lady who gave Karen a 5% chance of pulling through the first few days carries a great deal of weight. Thanks CONSULTANT (name withheld at request of hospital) - for your honesty and frankness. We appreciated it when we were told the bad odds and we definately appreciate it now !!! :-)

We then had a bit of sadness. The consultant (in the presence of Karen) was trying to get across to Karen how far she has come and she told Karen that we nearly lost her a couple of times in the first few days. Karen broke down at hearing this. Although I have told her similar things before (to illustrate how far she had come), she had never heard this from the professionals. Karen REALLY doesn't understand how good a fight she has put up and how wonderful she is. The consultant was great and she comforted Karen. Marie and I added our additional support.

This played on Karen's mind for the rest of the day, but I will return to this later.

I grabbed the consultant privately to confirm that Karen was out of danger. I didn't want to ask this in front of Karen (perhaps this was wrong), but I was chuffed to hear the news that I mentioned earlier.

After the consultant left, one of the paramedics (who helped get Karen out of the car), stopped by to see how Karen was. This is the first time Karen had met Jayne since the accident and the first time Jayne had seen Karen since she was out of danger. We had a few more tears as Jayne related some of the facts of the accident to Karen. She told Karen how brave she was and how she had been cursing the firemen, because they couldn't decide the best way to cut her out.

Karen :- "Why is it taking so long to get me out of here. I bet there is a man behind this decision"

When all of these visitors had gone, I started reading out last night's blog comments (and text messages) to Karen, leaving the "Acorn Antiques" things till the end. Karen loves hearing the messages of support.

dp:- Now, I have something special to show you.

I revealed the "Acorn Antiques" program and explained its origin.

I then read out the letter (detailing the Acorn Antiques show) and email to Karen. She was VERY moved by it and got very upset. I think she couldn't believe that someone would do this for her. This constantly amazes me. I read out all the texts, blog comments etc.... And she just can't believe that she is so well thought of. I keep thinking back to the thought that she obviously doesn't understand how far she has come and how much so many people care about her.

Thanks David again for this. You have definately helped bring home how much feeling there is out there for Karen.



We have had many laughs today. Karen enjoyed seeing her brother-in-law David Gall today. And she had a good crack with him about "boring Dave".

Tomorrow will probably see her being moved to Ward 3. Visiting Hours are 11am - 1pm, 4pm - 8pm. A lot of people have expressed an interest in visiting Karen and I know she will love to see you all, but don't visit just yet in case she hasn't been moved to Ward 3. I will post further details ASAP and I expect we will put in place some system to ensure that too many visitors don't show up at the same time.

Another great day Karen. Some Tears, Some Laughter. But another strong step in the right direction.

dp
(Proud as ever)

Day 26 - Monday 23rd May

A day of mixed emotions.

I rang the Intensive Care Unit and asked to speak to Karen. Wanted to tell her I wouldn't be in until 1pm because I was bringing the dogs. The nurse checked if Karen could speak and came back and explained

Nurse :- "She can't speak at the moment because she is having physio and anyway she is fast asleep."

I was laughing to myself at the thought of Karen getting a workout whilst fast asleep.

The day started with tears. I brought the dogs to see Karen, and one by one I got them out of the car and took them to Karen's bed. First Dog was Cleo. I didn't want to risk them jumping on kp so I lifted Cleo to kp so she could stroke him.

Immediately she got upset. :-( She had a good stroke and then on with the next dog (Bonnie). I tried lifting her to Karen, but she doesn't like to be lifted, so I took her on the lead and as soon as she saw Karen she launched herself completely in the air ONTO kp's bed. Jesus Tonight. kp's stomach is still not fully stitched up so I nearly laid an egg. Thankfully, I immediately yanked the chain and although all 4 paws touched the bed, they immediately landed back on the ground. Phew ! Bonnie then jumped up with her 2 front paws and let kp have a good stroke.



Elsa was the last and least trouble



Karen was tearful throughout. But I know she was glad she had seen the dogs. I think it must bring home to her what she is missing :-(

More tears followed at about 3pm when kp was ready for visitors again. Marie, Michelle, Jane + myself were round kp's bed and she was very quiet for quite a long time. She beckoned Michelle to come closer. kp wanted a hug. Very unusual (as those who know kp will be only too well aware). kp hugged Michelle and started crying. Michelle started crying, Marie started crying, Jane started crying and I stood there like a lemon. I must be all out of tears today. kp was upset. She is definately realising the depth of her situation as each day passes. Now I am crying. I feel so sorry for her. She has come through so much, battled so hard - she doesn't understand how far she has come, and she is just realising how ill she was and is and that she has a long road to travel. She is very frustrated having to lie in bed 24/7. Who can blame her ?

For a lot of the afternoon, she was uncomfortable as she had been positioned on her right hand side. She asks me to get someone to ease her discomfort, which of course I do, even though I know that comfort is hard to find for kp with all her sores etc....

One of the nurses came over and sat down with kp and had a good chat to her. He explained that for the last 3 weeks she had been unconscious and the hard times were experienced by David and the rest of the family. But now it was time for her big struggle. He was down to earth and told her that she was in for 1 helluva fight. She WOULD be uncomfortable. She would hurt each day and she had to fight through it all.

Nurse:- Over the next few weeks and months, you will be calling David every name under the sun.

(No change there then ;-)

Nurse:- You will be pushed to your limits by the nurses because they want you to get better. But the biggest thing you will come up against is frustration etc....

It was a cracking spiel the nurse said (he used to work on a stroke rehab ward) and it really let kp and I know that hell is on the way, but that together we can crack it.

So quite a sad day overall, but it did have its highs later in the afternoon.

Jane, Marie and Michelle were by kp's bedside and were waiting for her to wake up. They were bored so they started singing to kp. We have worked out that we can tell when kp is awake by her heartrate on one of the monitors. When its about 60, she is out for the count and 70+ she is on the way to consciousness, 80+ and she is awake. So it was 60 and the girls were singing songs from the 70's in the style of pub singers. I wasn't there but apparently the girls were in stitches at their own performances.

kp's heartrate rose to 70. So they thought they were getting close. It stayed like that for a while as the girls carried on their renditions, until kp woke up. One of the sisters said

Sister :- We have been singing to you !! Songs from the 70's.
kp :- I know. But I thought if I kept my eyes shut, you might stop.

Another highlight of the day was when my mum and dad visited.

As soon as she saw mum and dad, she waved at them and the biggest smile came across her face. I bet Karen 5 quid that dad would cry within 10 seconds of her talking. You owe me 5 quid kp !!!!



Mum and Dad could see such a big difference. She was talking, joking and full of the essence of kp. They were thrilled to see such an improvement. It had been 10 days since their last visit.

When they left to go to kp+dp's house (to do the ironing (thanks Mum !)), Marie and I stayed on. Karen was very quiet. Solemn. Sad. She hardly said a word. She was exhausted. She was fed up.
It's awful to see her like that. It's at times like this, I wish the driver of the van could be aware of how much pain he has caused her, Angela and Kevin (and their families and friends). 2 years driving ban ain't enough !!


Until tomorrow.....

Day 25 - Sunday 22nd May

A mixed day today. Laughter and Tears.

Let's shed the tears first.

Karen got very upset today. She said she had been crying a lot of the night as well. I think she is realising the extent of her predicament.

Every day I read out the comments people have put on this website and as I read last night's comment, Karen started crying. She is so touched by people's concern and the overwhelming response she has had both in the form of text messages and blog comments. I don't think she understands how well thought of she is. And the comments last night (which were all wonderfully encouraging) touched her.

It's funny, in hindsight, I should have seen the signs. When I offer to read out the texts I have had (over 150), she can only take a few being read out. When I read out the cards from her colleagues at the blood service, I do a few and she says "enough". She also received a single (large) card from Blood Service colleagues which must have about 30-40 good will messages (20 either page). I could only read the left hand page out before she said "enough". So, apologies to the colleagues who signed the right hand page - as far as Karen is concerned, you don't care about her !! That is a joke btw !!!! Karen is only too well aware of how much everyone is rooting for her !!

For the first time today, I read out the previous day's blog entry that I had written and this upset her also. I won't be doing that again. Karen, one day, will appreciate the blog, but its too early for her to hear her predicament (even though yesterday's entry was all positive).

The reading out of the blog prompted the following conversation :-

kp (upset) :- I am 40 and I have had a stroke. That isn't good is it.
dp :- Actually you're 42, but I like the way you knocked a couple of years off. Very slick !

So, let's end the tears. Karen is realising that she is not a well woman, but we tried to reassure how far she has come, and that she is doing remarkably well and everyone is SOOOO proud of her.

On the laughter front. Karen had some GREAT moments today.

One of the auxiliary nurses was reading out the menu for lunch.

Alan (aux.nurse) :- "Would you like Soup or Orange Juice.............Cottage Pie or Vol au Vents"
Now Alan pronounced Vol Au Vents in true english fashion. He pronounced Vents as "he vents his anger"

Karen spotted this straight away and the biggest smirk appeared on her face as Alan carried on reading the desserts out. I was nudging her arm when she smirked confirming the mispronunciation.

kp:- I don't want the "vol au vents" (copying Alan's mispronunciation) and I don't want "Vol au vents" either (kp pronouncing it correctly).

Alan was laughing. kp was laughing holding her belly because she was so amused.

Poor Alan copped it for the rest of the day and kp kept calling him Mr "Vol au Vents". Alan is the same chap (mentioned in an earlier blog) who was involved in the "getting her leg over" incident.

Karen had a good feed today. They have stopped feeding her intravenously and through her nose so from today, she has to eat real food. She ate a 1/4 of a plate of cottage pie and a couple of tubs of ice cream !! :-)

Another incident that provoked a painful kp belly laugh was when I was describing to Karen how at the other hospital I had seen a 14 year old girl in the waiting room who had jeans that just about covered the hip and her knickers were showing well above the jeans. (Very fashionable apparently). So I showed Karen with my "knickers" what she looked like but pulling my sexy Y-fronts up above my jeans. The Queen was amused !

Another time Karen had us in stitches is when she did an impression of one of the Asian Doctors (Dr Krishna). Apparently he had come over to her bed and said "How are you Karen ?" but with a very asian accent. He pronounced Karen as "Kaaaaaarennnn" ? So Dr Krishna was around her bed with a couple of nurses hovering as well, and she did an impression of how Dr Krishna had woken her up with his "How are you Kaaaaaaarennnnnn ?"

Dr Krishna, the nurses, Karen and family were laughing.

So, in summary, Karen had her down moments today and her up moments. It was quite an exhausting day for karen today and the upset took it out of her. We left her with one of the nose oxygen masks (that you see on Casualty) to keep her oxygen levels up (because they were a little on the low side) (nothing to worry about !).

When I went to leave at 8pm, she was fast asleep. Of course, I had to kiss her good night and she woke up. But only a sleepy awakeness. I said "Good Night, go back to sleep" and her eyelids went heavy again.

Good Night kp

In the next edition of Karen's blog we should have some interesting reading !!!!

The nurses have suggested I bring in our 3 German Shepherds to see Karen tomorrow. (The meeting with the dogs will take place outside. kp will be wheeled out on her bed). I am sh+tting myself because they will be so excited to see her, they will jump on her bed and open up all her wounds !!!! I will bring them to see her one by one, but still it will be an interesting day tomorrow. Expect there to be some part-eaten nurses and a kp that has more wounds than today.

Day 24 - Saturday 21st May - Part Two

I am running out of superlatives to describe Karen's progress.

It has been an astonishing day !!!

If someone had told me 1 week ago, that in 1 week's time, Karen would be going to the hotel coffee shop, nipping outside, she would have her trachy tube removed and would be able to move her left foot, I'd have told them "Look, there's being positive, but there's getting a bit ahead of yourself".

Guess what Karen did today !!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE !!!!!

I arrived at 12pm on the dot and one of the nurses said :-

Nurse :- Haven't you got something to say to David ?
Karen :- Yes, I am going to the coffee shop today for a "posh" coffee.

Gobsmacked dp !!!

Fantastic.

Sure enough within an hour, Karen was being pushed (in her bed) by 3 nurses to the coffee shop with me, Marie and Adele in tow.

First stop (before the coffee shop) was OUTSIDE !!!! It was a scorcher and VERY bright sunlight. Poor Karen was blinded for a few minutes until we got her in the shade of the entrance awning.

We took a few pictures of Karen, but unfortunately they haven't come out very well (for various reasons).


Closeup of Karen outside





The trachy tube was still in place at this time, but notice the lack of a ventilator machine. kp was doing all her own breathing.

Jane had taken the day off to go to the Yorkshire Dales. Whenever Jane is off, something miraculous happens. So I phoned her on my mobile and said :-

dp:- Jane, I am outside the hospital. Guess who is outside the hospital with me
Jane:- NO WAY !!!!!! Bloody Hell !


Closeup of Karen talking to Jane Burns on the phone


We then went to the coffee shop where we ordered teas, capuccinos etc. Unfortunately the bed wouldn't fit through the door of the cafe, but we enjoyed a coffee in the hallway ;-)

kp was knackered after this 30 minute expedition, and had some "Zzzzz"s. When she woke up again, the doctor came over and with the help of the nurse removed the trachy tube. kp still has a hole in her neck (it will heal within 10 days) but it is blocked by a big plaster for the moment. It's weird to watch the plaster rise and fall as karen breaths in and out. What's disconcerting is when Karen does a big breath, part of the plaster comes off the skin and all the air escapes, but it doesn't seem to bother her. Apparently, when she did a cough for the first time, she clean blew the plaster off. She has to do little coughs (can you do little coughs ?) or put her hand over the plaster to stop it from coming off which is a struggle, so she tells us when she is coughing so we put our hands over her neck.

:-)

Another good bit of news today was Karen did 1 hours 30 minutes of physio. 45 minutes on each leg. They strap this "Passive Movement Machine" to her legs (one by one) and it pulls the knee up and raises the leg. Yesterday 10 minutes was torture, but today 45mins was a breeze.

AND......The physio was testing Karen's ability to move her left side and she could move the toes and foot on her left side (stroke side). FANTASTIC ! She can't move her left hand yet however :-( But I feel sure this will come in time.

kp has eaten an ice lolly and a half tub of ice cream today, and drunk some warm tea.

She was absolutely shattered by 6pm. And by 7pm, she was fast asleep. She couldn't get comfy to sleep on her back, so they tilted her on her side (as much as the doctors would allow) so it was a bit more like a normal sleeping position.

There is talk of her moving to the Orthopedic ward sometime next week.

Can't wait. Although we will sorely miss the wonderful consultants, doctors and nurses of ICU Gateshead. They are SUPERB ! The quality of care doesn't waiver from shift to shift at all.

Well done kp.

You make us all very proud !!!

dp

Day 24 - Saturday 21st May - Part One

Got a phonecall about 10.30pm last night from KAREN.

kp:- David, I am having a tea party with the nurses. We have had tea and I have eaten half a slice of toast with butter on.

Well, I was overjoyed to hear Karen on the phone talking about tea parties.

And then this morning she rang again.

kp:- David, Can you bring my electric toothbrush and some lovely cotton knickers. And some Jeans.

kp:- I have been on the movement machine for 45 minutes this morning. It hurt. But I did 45 minutes. They said they also might remove my tube.

She meant the trachy tube.

WOW !

On my way kp, see you in less than an hour ! :-)

dp

Day 23 - Friday 20th May

First of all, apologies for yesterday's post (part two (end bit)), especially to those who saw the uncensored version with the F word in it ! I was very low, but there is no excuse, so sorry.

I had a good chat with Marie and Jane today, and Marie related her relationship with her son Lee (who had leukaemia) in the time he was very ill in hospital. Marie always used to get picked on by Lee in his most desperate moments while Lee would be fine with other visitors such as Karen. She believes, as do I now, that this is because the love is so great that Lee knew he could vent the frustration at his mam and she wouldn't desert him. Karen is just doing the same with me and knowing this makes me feel a lot better. It's not personal - As Margo says in her comment, it shows the deep love between us.

Thanks Marie + Margo !! :-)

Back to the main woman.

A CORKER OF A DAY !

Karen has made a big leap today !!! For 3 hours this morning she was took off the bellows and left with a oxygen mask over her tracheostomy tube. No Problems !!! SO THEN -->

They took her off the oxygen and she spent MOST of the day breathing naturally and there are no plans to put her back on the ventilator. She is breathing TOTALLY for herself !!

Go Karen Go - Go Karen Go ! Yay Rah Rah !! (Girly cheerleader time again)

She ate some ice cream today. She drank some tea (about a teaspoon). Loads of Water. Pineapple Juice. Gin and some Vodka straight (no ice). Well maybe not so much vodka ;-)

She was chirpy and had us in stitches again.

Just out of the blue she said to the lovely nurse Dawn (who she keeps calling Claire, Diane and others names)

kp: So are you having to go through "Agenda for Change" (an NHS policy change that affects the blood service).

Marie and I looked at each other instantly gobsmacked.

Another time, a doctor came over. He hadn't seen karen since she was sedated and he said

Doctor :- You are looking a lot better
kp :- Do I look striking ?

LOL !

The doctor laughed.

When I first went in, Karen was on a machine that automatically exercised her right leg for 10 minutes (moving it up and back).

kp: David, they are torturing me.

She wasn't happy.

dp: Just another 3 minutes to go love.
kp: No, its been on 10 minutes. Get them to switch it off.

Poor kp.

Another time, the nurses were ganged around Karen and were turning her to treat her leg and head sores. There were 3 female nurses and a male nurse doing it.

kp gave them instructions as to how she wanted to be turned.

kp: I want to get my leg over

The male nurse blushed, the female nurses were laughing. The nurses kept teasing the male nurse throughout the day about it.

So, lots of fun today. kp had lots of smiles throughout the day.

She had a visit from a nurse who specialises in cushioning wounds so they don't hurt. I can't remember her title.

Karen's head was cut at the front and the back in the accident. The front wound was stitched and has totally healed, stitches removed. The back of her head was a bigger problem because they couldn't do anything 'cos kp HAS to lie on her back and therefore her head has to lie on the pillow. This was always her biggest annoyance because whatever position she was in, she had to have the back of her head on the pillow. And it hurt.

This nurse came with the appropriate cushions and bandages to alleviate this pain and when we returned her head was bandaged up and she was relieved that there was no more pain from her head. The nurses called Karen "Humpty Dumpty" the rest of the day because that was a very apt description of her head bandaging.

Fantastic Day. kp on top form.

So Proud !

More good news - now kp is off ventilation, there is talk of kp moving to another ward. The doctors debated whether this should be a stroke ward or an orthopedic ward. They decided on an orthopedic ward with the pelvis being the biggest injury. She could be moved as early as Sunday, but more likely next week some time.

When Karen is moved off critical care, this is a sign that she is no longer critical. And therefore, stable.

Although Karen probably doesn't appreciate the significance of the ward move, it is a great morale boost to the family and friends.

Very little negative to tell you today.

Karen was convinced she could see "bugs" on the wall. I ended up going to the wall and pointing at various things. It took a while to work out that what she thought were bugs were in fact the black parts of a whiteboard that she could only see side on. I think she was a bit happier when she realised there were no "bugs" in the ward !

Karen had no feeling in her left hand today, but she could feel various prods on her left arm and left foot. I am sure that is enough to work on to gain full feeling in these areas eventually. And with a bit of luck, be able to move her left side, which at the moment she can't do.

Can't think of anything else, although I feel sure I have forgot some things.

Cracking Day. Karen is proving to be the Mohammed Ali of fighters and I feel sure tomorrow will bring something else new.

:-)

Day 22 - Thursday 19th May - Part Two

Karen was indeed moved to Gateshead late morning and was knackered. She was tried on the voice box but was too tired and couldn't speak and apparently was struggling for breath, so she was took off it.

I saw the consultant : a man who commands a lot of bowing and curtseying from fellow colleagues. It felt like going to see the head consultant out of the "Carry On" films. This man had little time to give (not so much through rudeness) but the demands on his time. He is obviously a whizz at what he does and I am grateful for what he did for Karen, but at the same time, I can't help but think he needs to do more of the "consult"ing side of things. Perhaps thats a general NHS problem.

Anyway....he's done his bit and here's what he did :-

He explained that he was just a technician who bolted karens pelvis together with 2 pins (either side) and a back plate. He would have liked to have fitted a bigger back plate, but there was too much infection around the pelvis, probably caused (he thought) from damage to kp's bladder. He is happy with what he has done however. If he had been able to fit a bigger back plate kp would have been able to sit upright straight away. The smaller back plate means kp will be bedridden for 6-10 weeks (time needed for the pelvis to heal).

I asked about the dislocated hip, broken phema etc... He wanted to bolt that together also but the anaesthetist wouldn't allow any more time under sedation. This was not a concern to him though because the alignment of the hip and phema were such that they should heal themselves in time. He did say that there was some broken hip bone loose between the pelvis and the hip and that this would need removing at a later stage. He also mentioned that kp would need a hip replacement in the medium term, but that this wasn't urgent.

He went on to say the pelvis isn't what would stop kp walking. It was the stroke that would do that. And to add more of a complication, he said it was unfortunate that karen's hip problems were on the opposite side (rhs) to the stroke (lhs). This kinda makes sense. Karen can move her right leg but this is the hip with the problem. Poor kp :-(

We also learned today that Karen (surname unknown) who was in the next bed to Karen had died yesterday. We had got close to her family over the past week. She was also a big Donny Osmond fan and was going to the same concert as Karen in September. Very Sad.

Karen was exhausted today. She had not enjoyed the ambulance ride (she wasn't sedated for it this time) and she was frightened whenever the ambulance went over a bump.

She slept most of the afternoon.

Early evening onwards she started to pick up a little, but still didn't want the voice box on. She insisted on mouthing things. We weren't very good at lip-reading so she asked for a pen. Last time she tried this, it was upsetting to see her attempt to write, as it ended up she was writing one letter over the previous 5 letters. Today she was better. We could pick out the occasional words. She wanted an ice lolly. Marie promptly performed her catering duties and went to the shop for an ice lolly (with ice cream in the middle) and kp went about devouring the outer ice lolly coating. She even held the lolly herself once or twice, but when she tried to put it in her mouth she kept hitting the tube coming out of her nose and wondered why she couldn't hit her mouth :-)

Assistance was promptly given.

She then felt sick, so was given anti-sickness drugs. It stayed down :-)

She did make us laugh again today. When she was eating her ice cream lolly, one of the nurses (Vicky) said "Where's mine ?". Karen mouthed "Shop"

LOL !

We all chuckled.

Marie left as her lift had arrived and kp and I spent some time together alone. This time got quite upsetting. kp was still mouthing everything or writing things down. It got to end of visiting (8pm) and the conversation went something like this (kp mouthing) :-

dp: -I have to go now
kp:- I'm coming with you
dp:- You can't come love.
kp:- I AM coming !

I was getting upset inside at this point, but wasn't showing it.

dp:- You can't leave the hospital until you can breath for yourself, eat, drink, and get off the bed yourself.

kp then put her right arm around my shoulder and started lifting herself off the bed. She got about 1 inch off the bed (she is VERY weak) and fell back.

She mouthed something else which I couldn't understand so then she wrote "I am coming home tonight. Its ok" or something along those lines.

I sniggered. (I wish I hadn't, and I feel very guilty, but if you saw her you would just know she can't go anywhere).

dp: I am sorry love but you can't leave hospital.

She mouthed "Shut Up".

This banter kept on for a while, until I said "Do you want the voice gadget fitted ?"

She nodded

The nurses deflated the cuff and put the voice thing on.

Karen's voice then came out and it was unlike I had ever heard from karen. It was soft, sad, mellow, and angelic. I could tell she was upset straight away. The voice had no volume (because of her tiredness), but the words were crisp and easily understood.

kp: I want to come home.

Well that was too much for me and despite me vowing to myself never to cry in front of her in hospital, both eyes welled up instantly and tears rolled down my cheeks.

dp: I want you to come home as well love and one day it will happen, but it won't be today.
kp: Why not ?
dp: Because you're not strong enough and you need these machines to breath for you, you need to be able to eat, drink, and it needs to pass through your system and you have to be strong enough to get off the bed.
kp: I am coming home tonight.

The nurse could see we were both upset and she came over and told Karen why she couldn't leave the hospital tonight. Karen tutted with her eyebrows. Hearing it from a nurse seems to bring the reality of it to Karen.

I stayed until about 9.15pm (1hr 15mins past visiting) with the nurses consent.

She was only on the voice box for about 10 mins. By the time I left, I knew she was VERY unhappy about her predicament, but I think she had accepted that she wasn't going home with me tonight. I was still very upset but could hold it back until I got out of view.

Karen generally isn't being the Karen I know. She will smile and wave at nurses as they come and go. She was "over the moon" to see Tony (Jane's husband) but whenever I enter or leave there is no fuss, no wave of the hand. I KNOW she loves me deeply, but I don't understand why its me who has to wave frantically to get a little wave of the fingers or its me who has to say "give me a kiss" to get her to purse her lips for a kiss. Or its me who has to say "Do you love me ?" to get her to say "I love you". How selfish am I ! It's just strange. I know she loves me, but she is not showing her usual love to me and it upsets me.

I know from a phonecall with Marie that Karen (as of 10:45pm) is asleep and settled. So I am pleased about that.

I love you Karen and I know you love me.

See you tomorrow

dp
xxxxx

Day 22 - Thursday 19th May - Part One

Got a phonecall this morning from one of the nurses at Sunderland to say that Mr Cross (consultant) had been round and given kp the ok to be moved to Gateshead. Everything with the operation looked great on x-ray. He will also see me at 2pm today to go through things in more detail :-)

kp is due to be moved before 12pm. We will be very pleased when she is back at Gateshead.

Day 21 - Wednesday 18th May

Day 21 !! 3 weeks !

Longest 3 weeks of our lives. But for kp, just a little snooze ;-)

I went in a bit earlier than normal today after a very restless sleep to be greeted by a much more upright kp drinking water out of a cup (held by the nurse) through a straw. She said "hello" and was as perky as a perky thing that is at its perkiest of perkiness. She was perky. I haven't been drinking.

We sat and discussed nights and how bad our haemorroids were.

dp : Are you in any pain love ?
kp: My piles are killing me !
dp: Well if thats your worst pain, that isn't bad is it ?
kp: I suppose not.

God, I am so gonna get knacked for writing this stuff. Can't wait ! :-)

A food lady came to the door and asked the nurse if Karen could eat anything. Fran asked Karen if she fancied some hot soup or some ice cream ?

Ice Cream it was. She didn't have much but she enjoyed what she had. She drank a lot of water today and asked me to phone Jane to order some pineapple, strawberries, grapes and kiwi fruit.

kp: Make sure they are washed !!

LOL !

Jane brought up the food supplies and karen drank a whole carton of pineapple juice over the course of the day. Not eaten any of the fruit yet.

We are waiting for kp to be moved back to Gateshead, and the prerequisites for that are that :-

• Karen needs to be stable (she is)
• The consultant needs to confirm the X-rays (taken today) show all is ok.

You can probably guess that neither of the consultants came round.

One may pop round tomorrow morning before surgery tomorrow but the nurse was doubtful. So, with a following wind, she may be at Gateshead tomorrow night. We will all be greatly pleased to be back at Gateshead.

Karen has been very eager to get outside for some fresh air. The hospital is hot ! When she was wheeled to X-Ray in her bed, they passed an open window. Karen had the nurse stop the bed and waft cold air from the window over her.

Poor Fran !!

Negatives

Karen had a cracking morning, but it completely zonked her out, and most of the afternoon was spent sleeping. She is very weak and 1 hour of kp in top form requires so much energy that she hasn't got and she just falls asleep. Marie + Michelle were not amused. Jane and I had had the best of kp, and then we let Marie and Michelle come in and they had kp blowing "Zzzzzz's" at them.

Sorry !

I felt exhausted today and I think everyone else was pretty much in the same boat. Its as if the big event (the op) is over, and we can relax a bit. This relaxing allows emotions to surface and a couple of us had a bit of a cry today. One big hurdle over, but many more to go.

Towards the end of the afternoon/early evening, Karen was exhausted and her temperature was on the rise (38.7). Cooling Blanket on and paracetamol given - they normally do the trick.

My only concern is Karen looked very weak when I left her (with Marie) tonight and her heartrate was 130 beats per minute which sets the alarm on the machine off. If she does get a chest infection or pneumonia, it isn't hard to imagine how tricky this would be to fight with energy so low. But I think we know that if anyone can, kp can.

We have been told to expect peaks and troughs in her recover (good days and bad days). It is the nature of critically ill patients and their recovery apparently. So we are not overly worried about this.

Positives

A cracking positive today. Karen's left side has very little feeling in it. This is the side they put the needles in and kp never feels a thing. But today, I started massaging her left foot. After about 30 seconds to a minute she commented how nice that felt.

WAHEY !

Very promising.

Overall, a great day. We are all keen to know what the next hurdles are and when we get to Gateshead, we know Frank (the main man (consultant)) will give us a full rundown of the challenges ahead.

Day 20 - Tuesday 17th May

I am going to sound like a parrot (no jokes about polly parrot plz), but a truly excellent day.

Karen HAD the op today !!!! She went in at 9.30am and came out 5hours 15 mins later. This operation was the biggest hurdle Karen will face that we know of and it is one we were told she had a 50/50 chance of surviving. She took those odds, spat at them and kicked them out of the hospital window.

Go Karen Go (dp waving like a girly cheerleader).

I am so proud of her and told her.

The day wasn't without hitches however. Are they ever ? The remainder of this weblog is probably not of interest to most readers, but is being recorded so I don't get a complete rollocking off Karen.

The day started off with me in a field walking the dogs when a phonecall came through from the hospital (8.30am). Bear in mind, we all thought the op was probably tomorrow, but maybe this afternoon.

"Mr Pollard. It is Nurse X from the hospital. Just to let you know that Karen is going to the theatre at 9am"

I was f++king livid at first. All the family wanted to be there for an hour with Karen before she went in for the op, partly for her sake and partly so we could say some meaningful things in case the worse happened. We had all made arrangements to allow us to be there first thing. Adele with the kids, me with the dogs etc etc... There was no way I or the Middlesbrough crowd could get there in 30 mins.

What made it worse is that the nurse said Karen had asked for me to be by her bedside. TOTALLY understandable, but I felt like I was letting her down by not being there. We had specifically told nurses to let us know if there was any change in the plan. 30 mins notice ain't enough.

I told the nurse how livid I was and that I would be taking this further. I then put the phone down and phoned family to let them know.

Dogs back on lead and me on a fast pace for home, I then phoned the nurse back and insisted I speak to karen on the phone before the op. Her english wasn't too good, and she was struggling to convey the fact that the phone wouldn't reach. I told the nurse to tell Karen that I love her very much and I wanted to be there, but I have only just found out etc etc....

I hope she got this message. I will find out over the next few days.

When I got back to the house, Jane (the rock) phoned me and I started getting very upset about the fact that I hadn't been able to be there for her, comfort her and if this was the last thing she will remember (ie that I wasn't there for), I will f++king take this to the top or something like that.

Anyway. When I got to the hospital, Karen was in theatre, so I asked to speak to someone senior and a nurse coordinator came out. He took me to the interview room. I took with me the visitors handbook (which I had read a few times). I was very calm + polite and to the point .

The book asked that as part of the relationship between hospital and carers that we provide a single spokesperson to spread the news about the patient so the hospital is not bombarded with phonecalls. Marie is kindly taking care of all family news dissemination.

I explained that we were doing our bit but that the hospital was not meeting their obligation (as stated in their own Intensive Care Unit handbook), namely :-

A-They would have meetings with us to explain the patient's condition etc when we first arrived (NEVER HAPPENED)
B-They would keep us informed of key information as it unfolded (NEVER HAPPENED).

In fact, we have asked to see the main consultant (Mr Cross) on AT LEAST 2 occasions and he hasn't seen us yet. NOT ONLY THAT, after the operation I asked to see him again so we could find out what happened in the operation and what Karen's condition was. We were greeted by "He can't see you until Thursday". He may be shit hot at fixing pelvises, but I think that his and the hospital's communication is ABYSMAL!

Mr Nanu will ring me on my mobile tomorrow to let us know how kp is. Great ! :( Let's stew for a night wondering if Karen's pelvis is fixed or not. The consultants at this hospital really let it down ! The nurses and doctors are great but the consultants seem to have their heads up their arses. (That feels better !).

ok.....

The anaesthetist did come in however and was very nice and of course, he knew bits and bobs but didn't want to say too much because it wasn't his area.

Here's what we gleamed :-

It sounds like Karen WON'T need a further pelvis op.
Her Hip and Phema are unfixed.
She didn't lose much blood in the op (our big worry)
The surgeons (Mr Cross + Mr Nanu I think) couldn't do everything they wanted to do because kp's pelvis showed signs of infection in the outer covering tissue, but they had left it in a situation they are happy with.

Now if you were Karen or me, would you be happy with that half full pot of information ?

Anyway....

Karen had a high temperature from the op. 40.8. She was still sedated, eyes open at times, but she was effectively oblivious to her condition.

The nurse was concerned that if it went higher we may have problems.

I stayed until about 8.15pm when the temperature had dropped to 38.5. Still high, but the paracetamol and the cooling blanket were bringing it under control.

The sedation was reduced and kp (back on full ventilation) was mouthing things. It is getting easier to understand most of the things she says, and I worked out she was hot, and wanted her feet and head cooling. Florence (dp) Nightingale was on hand with cold presses :)

The complaint made about shitty communication had clearly gotten round and the doctors,nurses couldn't do enough for us about getting good communication lines in place. The nurses and doctors are superb. They are only let down by the consultants who are obviously too important to talk to relatives. Sorry about the rant, but thats how I feel.

I will be very pleased when Karen gets back to Gateshead (hopefully tomorrow) if she becomes stable.

Not much else to tell.

I would just like to take a quick moment to thank a few people.

Jane for being such a rock (she will kill me for thanking her)
Tony (for loan of Jane)
Marie for being Communication/Catering Manager and being such a dedicated communication channel to the hospital.
Michelle and Adele (sister/niece) for bringing levity/fun/care to this situation.
Eileen for looking after the dogs and
Nigel for sending occasional texts on my behalf

So.....

kp's biggest obstacle is behind her. She has many more to come :-

Hip
Thema
Stroke
Fat Embelli
Back of Head (needs op)
Nails (she broke one in theatre, she will be very angry about this)
I am sure there are more, but I am knackered and can't think straight.

Just remembered one extra thing. We found out Angela (also in the crash) was in the next ward up. I visited her and it was great to see Neil and Angela in top form. Angela is braving her shattered pelvis and 9 broken ribs in excellent form. She got upset about karen and would dearly love to see her, but she is bedridden for 6 weeks at least to allow her pelvis to mend (she had her op last week).

Keep up the good work Karen.

I am so proud of you !

dp

PS - thanks to Nigel (my best friend) for hosting Karen's voice recording of her thanking people for the support